Children’s birthday parties are the very best fun. I gather that some children enjoy them as well, but really, children enjoy Tellytubbies, so they’re working from a very low threshold of enjoyment. No, the best fun to be had at children’s birthday parties is for the grown-ups. Fun like:
1. The Birthday Cake
The birthday cake is the centerpiece of any children’s birthday party. It just hasn't been a proper birthday unless some dough has been pushed into the shape of a cartoon character and been impaled with four of five sticks of flaming wax. Kids love birthday cakes, especially when they’re shaped like dinosaurs or castles or robots or robot dinosaurs in a castle, but they may not enjoy it quite as much as the birthday cake maker themselves. There’s just a lot of fun to be had, deciding on the flavour of the cake, searching up reference pictures on Google Images, making sure you've got all the detail work precisely right, and finally, licking the bowl clean when it’s all done.
Once you've completed your masterpiece, it almost seems like a waste to let children eat it.
2. Costumes
Now I’m not saying that people have children just so that they have an actual tiny living human being that they can dress up in whatever stupid costumes they desire. That is just a ridiculously happy bonus. Yes, there are grown-up costume parties, but the fact is the costumes are just never as good. Nothing can top dressing a four-year-old up as an octopus because someone decided it was a Sponge bob Square-pants themed party.
As with the birthday cake maker, the dedicated costumer will use this as a real outlet for their creativity, whether the theme is under the sea, outer space or superheroes. Then you can take loads of photographs and use them as blackmail material when your cute little angels turn into surly teenagers.
3. Games
While the costumes and cake give you a creative outlet, party games tap into your inner control freak. Go on, admit it. Nothing quite matches the rush of power that comes with knowing you, and only you, can control when the music stops during pass the parcel.
The same can be said of possessing the secret knowledge of where the tail should go on the donkey, and whereabouts the pinata is dangling. Come on, you’re among friends. Admit it – the power is intoxicating.
4. Food
I don’t know why it is that grown-up parties aren't allowed party rings and jelly and ice cream. Maybe it’s some sort of trade-off for being allowed to have booze at our parties, but I don’t think it seems fair. The harsh truth of the matter is that no grown-up party will ever have food as good as any children’s party. Somehow they just won that fight hands-down.
5. Naps
Perhaps the best part of the party though is when it’s all over, and the kids are so exhausted they fall fast asleep. Cleaning up the party can wait until tomorrow, for now just bask in this brief moment of peace and start making your plans for next year’s party.
1. The Birthday Cake
The birthday cake is the centerpiece of any children’s birthday party. It just hasn't been a proper birthday unless some dough has been pushed into the shape of a cartoon character and been impaled with four of five sticks of flaming wax. Kids love birthday cakes, especially when they’re shaped like dinosaurs or castles or robots or robot dinosaurs in a castle, but they may not enjoy it quite as much as the birthday cake maker themselves. There’s just a lot of fun to be had, deciding on the flavour of the cake, searching up reference pictures on Google Images, making sure you've got all the detail work precisely right, and finally, licking the bowl clean when it’s all done.
Once you've completed your masterpiece, it almost seems like a waste to let children eat it.
2. Costumes
Now I’m not saying that people have children just so that they have an actual tiny living human being that they can dress up in whatever stupid costumes they desire. That is just a ridiculously happy bonus. Yes, there are grown-up costume parties, but the fact is the costumes are just never as good. Nothing can top dressing a four-year-old up as an octopus because someone decided it was a Sponge bob Square-pants themed party.
As with the birthday cake maker, the dedicated costumer will use this as a real outlet for their creativity, whether the theme is under the sea, outer space or superheroes. Then you can take loads of photographs and use them as blackmail material when your cute little angels turn into surly teenagers.
3. Games
While the costumes and cake give you a creative outlet, party games tap into your inner control freak. Go on, admit it. Nothing quite matches the rush of power that comes with knowing you, and only you, can control when the music stops during pass the parcel.
The same can be said of possessing the secret knowledge of where the tail should go on the donkey, and whereabouts the pinata is dangling. Come on, you’re among friends. Admit it – the power is intoxicating.
4. Food
I don’t know why it is that grown-up parties aren't allowed party rings and jelly and ice cream. Maybe it’s some sort of trade-off for being allowed to have booze at our parties, but I don’t think it seems fair. The harsh truth of the matter is that no grown-up party will ever have food as good as any children’s party. Somehow they just won that fight hands-down.
5. Naps
Perhaps the best part of the party though is when it’s all over, and the kids are so exhausted they fall fast asleep. Cleaning up the party can wait until tomorrow, for now just bask in this brief moment of peace and start making your plans for next year’s party.
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